Fiona Chan
A lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy.

So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game.
The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun.

I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.
This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?"
The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the Chinese's turn.
He asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.
After one hour of searching he finally gives up.
He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500.
The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.
He wakes the Chinese up and asks,
"Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.


hahaha..this is hilarious =P
xoxo~~<333
Fiona Chan
This took place quite some time ago...
Approx 1 month ago...
On 15 May 2009 (Meng Hui @ Wai Sik Chu @ Lap Sap [Rubbish] Foong @ N-E-R-D @ Serene's 21st Bday)
BUT since i JUST finished my blardy exams *ACCA's gonna kill me soon*...
So only NOW i have the time to blog about it...
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The blindfolded bday gal with Minnie..
She's "acting" all surprised
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The 3 N-E-R-D-S...
where's the other one??
The other one's MIA..
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When we asked her to guess who we were??
The bday gal claimed that im a guy...wtf?!?!
OMFG how evil of her!!! *I will remember this and consistently remind u about it!!!*
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Half wif their mouths open & pointing
Another half were looking so prim & proper
wahahaha..=D
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The bday doughnuts from Big Apple...=)
But we were all waaaay too stuffed to eat them
So the bday gal brought them back to have for dinner, breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc...eat all the doughnuts until she finishes all of them...
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Happy 21st Bday Meng Hui!!!
Hope u had a blast on that day=)
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The menu did not look like a menu
It looked more like a comic book..hehe
We attempted to *bring* a few back...=D
But we failed...So no souvenir from full house for us..hehe
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The bf and the gf being posers...wahahaha =D
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The bday gal with her Bday Pressie(a Longchamp bag from all of us)
We were all soooo broke after that...
Glad u liked it...=)
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My newfound "hamburger" friend..hehe
Her name's Jessie..
And the first question she asked me was... "Ur name real ah?"
wahahaha...she kept repeating her ques...
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It went something like this
Jessie : Your name Fiona real ah?
Me : Real lah..Just not in my IC but its real.
Jessie : You sure real ah? I never hear ppl name Fiona before leh.
Me : Serious ah? I know a few ppl name Fiona wo.
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It was hilarious..haha..
My name's real!!!!=)
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One N-E-R-D-S is MIA again..
haha
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And a Group Pixie in front of Full House..=D
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We headed back after that since the bday gal n some of us had class at nite...
How sad..classes at nite on her bday..oh wells..
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And on the same day
At nite...headed over to Chor Oon's 21st bday party..=)
Fiona Chan
Today,
i went to library to study *or else really need to jump down the building*
around 4 something..went for coffee break *coffee is my best best best friend~love u sooo much~* with unsound n madeline
mad went off somewhere while we were drinking coffee
mumbled something bout going to say hi to a friend

after sometime,
me & unsound decided to go looking for her..
found her writing a HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY msg on the dedication board..

browsed thru the dedication board while waiting for her..
guess what i found..



i thought of jia xion (fisherman) at first glance of this dedication
*i still remember that ur mr X eventhou i've not seen u in a long time*
*also remember that u luuurve ms rozi a looooot!!!* =)
haha

then i remember he's no longer studying freaking boring acca anymore
he's training to be a pilot in langkawi *bet ur having waaaay much more fun over there and u get paid too...omfg how nice*
anywayz it could still have been him..mayb he was back here for hols..lol..who knows
haha

then, something else caught my attention...


*omfg..ADRIAN i didnt know u loved Ms Kok that much*
how come u always went early in her class??
btw, Mother's Day over already lah!!!

haha..it was a real amusing sight...
doubt it was actually dedicated by adrian..lol
but it was still very entertaining...
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HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!! =D

Fiona Chan
I can't imagine someone can be sooooo freaking random & lame...
moreover..she's my lecturer...
my p6-advanced taxation lecturer...

in her first class,
sometime almost the ending of the class..
ms kok mentioned, "i'm hungry lah"
*her comment was out of nowhere..it was totally random*

sometime ago,
while attempting a question we came across the name josephine..
and she said, "josephine is 'zhor sau feng' lah.. "
fling left hand

few days ago, thursday i think...
it was the first day of tax edc/efc classes
we came across a question where someone's name was michael
then, ms kok said, michael is 'mai kai'
sell chicken

omg..she's so random n lame..
dunno whether to laugh with her or laugh at her..
oh well..another day of her randomness & lameness tmr..@_@
Fiona Chan
OMFG!!!
Exams are so freaking near!!!
My first paper is in 36 days!!!
Thats like around 9 days left to study for one paper!!!
I'm so dead!!! *bangs my head on the wall really really really hard*
What am I doing blogging???
I'm going bonkers!!! (X_x)
Fiona Chan
Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di GentingHighlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

p.s. This was sent to me by kiddo recently...=)



Karangan UPSR

"Keluarga Saya"

Semua orang didunia in ada keluarga. Keluarga ialah family dalam bahasa putih. Keluarga mempunyai ayah, ibu, Abang, kakak, adek, nenek, datuk, pakcik, makcik, dan etc, etc.

Pertama kali saya ingin memberitahu bahawa semua orang didunia ini mempunyai keluarga yang aman damai dan tidak berperang tetapi ada juga yang tidak damai kerana mereka berperang.

Saya ingin menceritakan pula tentang keluarga saya. Saya mempunyai seorang ibu dan ayah tetapi ibu saya kata dia pernah tidur dengan tiga orang lelaki di hotel dimana dengan itu sah bahawa saya ini anak luar nikah kerana darah saya berlain jenis dengan ayah saya yang ada di rumah ini. Ayah tidak penduli bila ibu keluar dengan lelaki lain. Ibu pula tidak risau jika ayah tidak pulang kerumah walaupun hampir satu bulan.

Kakak dan abang saya tidak lagi bersekolah kerana mereka sudah berhenti. Kakak saya cantik seperti mirip wajah Marilyn Monroe yang sudah mati itu. Dia mati kerana terlanggar motokar datuk saya yang enjinnya berkuasa 500cc.

Abang saya handsome atau kacak seperti Amitabh Bachan atau Sunjay Dutt, kadang-kadang mukanya berubah seperti Aacapan bila dia baru bangun tidur. Bila dia habis mandi muka dia macam muka dia sendiri. Itulah kelebihan abang saya.

Seterusnya saya menceritakan tentang adik saya. Walaupun saya tidak ada adik tetapi saya tipu kamu dengan menyatakan bahawa saya ada adik.

Demikianlah cerita tentang keluarga saya bahagia walaupun sebenarnya tidak. Sekian harap maklum.

p.s. this was sent to me by the evil one a long time ago (maybe 4 or 5 years ago)..came accross it again recently..

Fiona Chan
My ex-lou kong @ ah kai @ keikei is now officially an aunt to a beautiful baby girl that was born on 1st April 2009 (April Fools Day)

&

My dear ol' apprentice tried to play a prank on me on April Fools
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This was wat happened
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Around 8 something aunt ah kai sent me a pic of her cute newborn niece

Then a while later my apprentice messaged me

Apprentice : Master, u free tmr?

Me : Erm, what time? why?

Apprentice : Kei is coming back =)

Me : Sure a not ah? ur trying to play a prank on me rite? i know its april fools

Apprentice : Really lah.. Her baby nieve was born today so she's coming back to see her then go back sabah again after that.

Me : Dun lie lah..she's coming back only on the 12th may

Apprentice : No..no..tmr la

Me : I dun trust u lah..

Apprentice : Aiyoo...=(
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Then, the following day

Me : So apprentice..where's ah kai?since u said she's coming back today

Apprentice : Haha..dunno ler..mayb her flight's delayed..
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My poor ol' apprentice didnt know ah kai had already messaged me about her newborn niece and also told me that she was only coming back on the 12th May after her finals.
*Which is after ah kai's Birthday which on 5th May btw
How sad =(
Can't celebrate my ex-lou kong's 21st Birthday with her
But no worries..
I might just float over to u with my trusty pelampung hoping i don't float towards the wrong direction or drown myself on the way in the Laut China Selatan and that i can reach u on time..haha.. (I know this is lame..haha)
or
I'll just join u spiritually over there =)*

Awww...too bad you didnt manage to prank me, ur smart master..=D
Unlike last year where u managed to prank the "dumbass" ah kai..haha
Better luck next year dear..=)
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